Monday, April 20

Do You Feel Unappreciated As a Wife/Woman? (1)

I wonder if it is normal to feel Unappreciated by your husband/man at times.

Do husbands/Men generally take their wives for granted and assume that they don't need TLC especially after children have come on the scene?

This is quite troubling, I have experienced it and heard so many stories from friends and I wonder why so many women feel this way.

Husbands/Men generally take it for granted that the wife/woman will run the home, raise the kids and also contribute to the household income by working.
Whoops we must be "super powers", because it sure ain't easy to achieve. This is an uphill task for any woman.

Most days you end up exhausted and completely fatigued and with no man to even appreciate your efforts or offer some much needed TLC.
What we really need at that time is a cuddle, some small talk and the assurance that we are loved and appreciated.

We don't even mind the tasks of homemaking and Child rearing, what galls us is that the men generally think that it is not such big deal to do;
- School run
- School homework
- Medical checkups
- Shopping
- Cooking & Cleaning and Maintenance
- Taking the kids out for fun or parties
- As well as you own 9-5 job[At times it even extends after 5]

As a working mother and wife/woman we are generally tasked to the hilt and a little appreciation often goes a long way.

The truth is that after work, homemaking and child rearing you most probably will have no time for yourself. And this "sucks" because you begin to loose sense of self because you have no "Me Time".
Even if you are a house wife you would really relish some appreciation for running the home and taking care of the kids 24/7.

Do you feel the same way? What do you think?

Women I think we need to take our men in hand and also work on creating some "Me Time".
We all need some "Me Time" to even appreciate our selves, dream and work on some new ideas.

I work mostly with men and I rubbed minds with them - on showing Appreciation to their wives/partners and I was aghast to realize that they are Clueless! totally Clueless!!
It seems most men don't even understand why we need appreciation and how to go about appreciating their wives or partners.

So women let's help our men answer the question - "What does a woman want/need?" because the men sure don't know.
Do You Feel Unappreciated as a Wife/Woman (2)
Do You Feel Unappreciated as a Wife/Woman (3)
Do You Feel Unappreciated as a Wife/Woman? (4)



Anonymous said...

I also feel unappreciated. I feel as though I have a room mate and I pay my rent with laundry and meals while my husband pursues his career and boosts his ego. Meanwhile, I raise the kid, clean the house and schedule all necessary appointments and errands. He doesn't notice a thing except that he is out of hair gel and his allergies are worse due to the dust in the house I have not gotten around to cleaning. Of course, I wouldn't expect him to notice anything I do get around to, his nose is either in his computer or on his phone reading twitter and blog posts. What happened to the days when I was his number one priority??? Tomorrow is my 2nd Mother's Day, he is on his way to a business conference...another unmemorable holiday. This should not be the norm.

Consolata said...


Thanks for your comment.
As a woman like it or not we have to run the home as well as our partners. We are more focused, more organized, generally achievers, and most importtantly most women have mothering natures. So you find out that your husband or partner ends up being treated as one of the kids and they always allow us take them on.
But I advise you try to make out some "we" time for when you husband is at home, so that when he is out there he is eager to return to some peace, quiet, sane and sometimes down right "raunchy" time with you. It works believe me. Tara

ALRISA3 said...

I am at my wits end. I am a mother of three a 15 , 10 and 2 year old. My husband works 3 Sats a month, which means, I do ALLL the running around with the kids. I keep a neat home only to find out that it doesnt matter. My husband hangs his work shirts on the living room curtain rod. His shoes, where they land they stay. I take the kids to school, to practices , to all activities, and work full time. Dr's appts, dental appts yup my responsibility. If I want ME time, I get treated as though I dont deserve it, cause when I get home, Im yelled at for something I didnt do. I run the home to include paying the bills. Let me give you an example of my typical Saturday. Today my son had opening day at 9am. My daughter had dance class at 930 15 miles away from my son's opening ceremony.... So, back to Opening ceremony once my daughter is dropped off. Then son has basketball at 1230. Get him there at 12:00, then back to get my daughter pick her up at 1230 and get back to the basketball game at 1/2 time. All with a 2 year old in tow. I then get a call from my husband to make sure Im getting everyone where I need to be. I havent had a pedicure in 6 months. Apparently I just dont get me time. Seems everyone is happiest when Im miserable. ... Just needed to vent.

Consolata said...

ALRISA3, I feel your pain. You are almost at breaking point from you description below. Call your husband and sit him down, let him know he has to share some of the responsibilities - let him know how you feel and what is going on in your home. Men usually need real prodding as the only see what they want to see in the home. I also suggest you talk to your older children; they are old enough to help around the house so that you can have an hour or two to just "breathe". If your husband does not work weekends I suggest the Saturday routine be alternated between the two of you. You have to be firm and not back down when they try to play emotional blackmail with you. I wish you luck.

Anonymous said...

A woman wants a man who has her back and who remembers to say Thank-you, I love you, Happy Birthday, I miss you and You are my world.

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meluckycharms2 said...

Here's the guys point of view of why you feel appreciated. We don't take initiative because you complain all the time of how we do it then end up doing it yourself. Why not cut out the middle man. I would be more than willing to do the laundry if I wasn't chastised for putting farms with the lights and not folding them the way you want because it minimizes wrinkles.

When we come home after a hard days work we want to relax. We don't ask you to do anything because if we felt like it needed to be done we'd do it. We definitely don't appreciate the things you do if it's something You wanted to do for the sake of blowing it in our face later.

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