Monday, December 28
Human relations whether friendships, dating or marriage often comprise of two people who are willing to relate with one another on various levels.
Relationships involve compromise, commitment, trust, understanding and some form of attraction [either like minds or opposites attracting].
Relationships like life cannot be a bed of Roses, there are often some thorns embedded in the Rose bushes and you must learn how to navigate this thorny areas.
People or couples often break off a relationship or seek other partners because there is an emotional void, a sense of loss, feeling of desolation or an unexplained lonliness even when the other party is around them.
In marriage or a committed relationship both parties make a conscious decison based on love to be together through good time and bad times.
But to actively partake in any relationship you must first of all love yourself with all your shortcoming and be willing to give of self to your partner or husband/wife.
In loving yourself you must first appreciate your inner beauty, your personal attributes , like strength of character, courage, reliability, trustworthiness, honesty e.t.c. The list could be endless and is unique to you based on age, experiences in life and background.
Learn to appreciate all your unique attributes which are you key selling points in attracting a partner/husband or wife.
When you have a relationship which is committed or a Marriage you must continue to work at it as the world we live in is very dynamic, there are various constantly changing facets of life and society that can affect your relationship or marriage daily.
There are various salient factors that contribute to a successful loving relationship;
Communication: Communication is a key ingredient in any relationship or marriage as you need to express yourself so the other party understands your thought on issues and you general feelings.
Appreciation: Learn to show appreciation to your partner/husband/wife as this goes a long way in showing your love and a ppreciation of their efforts and contributions.
Encouragement: More often than not behind any successful individual is a loving, loyal encouraging partner who is his/her greatest advocate. This often propels you to achieve.
Co-operation: All forms of co-operations are required here; it could be financial, in a shared business, parenting or even in housework. This helps for forge a tight bond that is not easily broken.
Kindness/Giving of Oneself: In a relationship you must "die to self" and be willing to give of yourself freely to your partner/ husband/wife. Little acts of kindness and thoughtful gestures show love and appreciation and lets your partner know that he/she is loved, valued and appreciated.
Honesty: Lies and evading the truth have no place in a successful relationship. Any relationshipp built on lies will eventually crumble like a pack of cards.
Shared Goals: Both partners in a relationship or marriage must have some shared goals and dreams which will ensure unity of purpose in future plans for their family or marriage.
Partnership: Any successful marriage or relationship is a partnership that works.
Both partners must have equal shares at stake and the same level of commitment to making it work. You must find a way to work together in harmony recognise each other strengths and weaknesses. Build on each other's strengths and complement your weaknesses with out focusing on them
Mutual Respect: A very vital mitigating factor which could lead to the success or failure of any relationship or marriage is mutual respect. Recognise that your partner is bale to function on their own and is capable of achieveing things. Offering to help without permission is a violation of this respect. Lack of this could be a potential relationship killer. Remember respect begets respect and must be earned. Don't expect your partner to respect you when you don't respect him/her.
Trust: This is a critical determinant of a successful relationship, you need to trust and believe in your partner. If you trust your partner you know that you can rely on them for their support and love. A betrayal of this trust often times leads to a complete breakdown of the marriage or relationship.
Compromise: You must be willing to compromise for the success of your relationship. At various times during your union you may need to let your partner's wishes prevail and vice-versa and at some other times both of you have to reach a common ground.
Tolerance: You must learn to tolerate the other party in the union/relationship; their percularities, beliefs, mannerisms or oddities which could be a direct result of his/her upbringing and surrounding influences.
If all this are in place in your relationship or marriage in varying degrees, you sure are building a relationsip that would withstand the test of time.
Good Luck in your Relationship!