Wednesday, February 10

Are You having an "Affair" with your Baby?

 Are you having an affair with your new born? Does this outrageous question confuse you?

Don't be Confused! Most new mothers tend to focus all their energy and resources on their new born some how neglecting the husband/man.

I was guilty of this "twice"; my husband finally shared his concerns with me four months after the birth of my second child. He said he felt like a stranger in his home and that he also felt useless and unloved.

I usually am on overdrive after the birth of my baby and I just focus on caring for the baby; breast feeding, diaper changes, baths, and so much more. I found I was often stressed out and exhausted with little or no time to care or worry about my husband.
I just found my self watching over my babies like a hawk to exclusion of almost everything and everyone else.

Maybe it is our mothering instincts at play compounded by the fact that your newborn is helpless, very fragile and totally dependent on you.

But the reality is that the marriage or union suffers as the husband/man feels useless, unloved and uncared for. And you know them; they are real big babies themselves.

The onus is on us mothers "again" to try to find a safe balance between mothering and wife-hood; so that we still show love and care to our husbands/man.
I tell you this balancing act is a precarious one and you have to constantly work at it.

I suggest you try to get your husband/man involved in the caring of your new born so you have more time to relax and you are not stressed out and exhausted.
If there are other kids you may want to allow your husband/man care for them while you focus on caring for the new born; this way two of you get things done together more efficiently and have some quality time to spend with each other.

Are you guilty of having an "Affair" with your baby? Please share your feelings and experiences here.



Winc

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